Beauty Pageants Rarely Make Me Sad

...but this one did

In actuality, I never watch beauty pageants. Not for any particular reason. They just don’t interest me. However, when I read about this one, I had to stop and take a look… and it made me sad.

The contest was the 2023 Miss Greater Derry pageant.  Derry is a quiet, picturesque New Hampshire town of about 34,000 people, incorporated in 1827. It’s nicknamed, "Spacetown" because it’s the birthplace of astronaut Alan Shepard. It was also the home of poet Robert Frost and his family for a while.

Derry hosts a local beauty pageant that’s part of the larger Miss New Hampshire program. The pageant began in 1947 under the auspices of the Union Leader newspaper. In 2000, a non-profit was formed and licensed by the Miss America Organization to manage both The Miss New Hampshire Scholarship Program (a 501(c)(4) civic organization), and the Miss New Hampshire Scholarship Foundation that grants the scholarships (a 501(c)(3) public charity). According to their website, the Scholarship Program’s Vision is to “To provide the young women of New Hampshire the opportunity for an affordable education, self-development and success.” And they seem to be doing a great job. According to Wikipedia, in 2021, the Foundation granted $100,000 in scholarships to 26 contestants who competed at the state level, and another approximately $85,000 to local contestants.

As a part of the larger program, the local Miss Greater Derry Pageant has been providing scholarships to young women living in the greater Derry area since 1987. Their mission is to recognize the young women’s “outstanding achievements in scholastic aptitude, talent, character, community service and poise within the guidelines of the Miss NH and Miss America Organizations.” So, apart from whatever you may think about beauty pageants, per se, scholarships for women are a good thing.

However, this year something seems to have gone awry. The contest was won by Brian Nguyen, a transgender student at Nashua Community College. To be clear, I don’t have any issue with Brian’s choice of gender. I support everyone’s right to live life as they see fit, and I wish Brian every success that he deserves... but, if you look at a picture of the contestants, something just doesn’t seem right. The image is as jarring as that iconic picture of Lia Thomas on the winner's dias towering over the other female competitors.

It isn’t the physical differences between Brian and Lia, and the women against whom they compete that makes me sad. That’s a different story.

What saddened me was looking at the other young women in the picture, those who lost the Pageant. Any of us who have competed at anything know that losing hurts. The only analgesic for that pain is knowing that the contest was fair, and that everyone competed in good faith. I’m not sure that was the case here. In fact, feminist writer Sophie Walker thinks Brian may have been held to a lower standard than the other contestants. That’s what it looks like to me, and that makes me sad.

In addition to the title, Brian won the $6000 scholarship which, otherwise, would have gone to one of the other young women. That would’ve been in keeping with the vision of the Miss New Hampshire Scholarship foundation.  That made me sad.

The story also reminded me of the Vermont high school girls volleyball team that was barred from their own locker room over an incident stemming from their discomfort with having a male-bodied athlete changing with them. We should be able to be inclusive and respect everyone’s sensibilities. That made me sad.

And that reminded me of the comment made by trans model Oliveira in response to female contestants asking that she be disqualified from Brazil’s infamous (and rather silly) Miss Bumbum pageant, “[they're just] threatened because they are seeing a trans [woman] who is more beautiful than them.” That not only made me sad, it made it clear that (at least) this trans woman recognizes the difference between trans contestants and those ‘other’ women against whom they compete. However, other competitors seem to be ambivalent... some even claim that “there’s no such thing as ‘a woman.'” Inclusion should not mean exclusion. That makes me sad, too.

All of this reminded me of transgender MMA fighter Fallon Fox saying that s/he “enjoyed” fracturing the skull of her female opponent, Tamikka Brents. Inclusion does not imply cruelty. That made me very sad.

Then, I started thinking about how this is affecting girls and young women. How must they feel having their pastimes, their aspirations, their opportunities, and their spaces unceremoniously usurped?

Lierre Keith, Chair of The Women’s Liberation Front (WoLF) thinks it’s not a good thing. “You can roll your eyes about it being a beauty pageant, but the principle is the same whether it’s a pageant, a homeless shelter, a hospital ward or a prison. Women are… claiming a right to our spaces.”

And, why is it that we can’t find a way to be accepting and inclusive, and still respect the rights and sensibilities of all people? I don’t think it would be that difficult to figure out a solution.

I try to temper my desire to be the authentic ‘me’ with an appreciation of and sensitivity to other people’s needs. Yeah, I’m big and strong enough to butt in front of other people in the grocery store check-out line… but I‘d never do it. I have no desire to make myself taller by cutting off someone else’s head… I just couldn’t live with myself.

Then, I thought about my daughter’s future.

That made me a little sad, too.

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